2016 Resolution

I believe I am who I am for a reason.  As a Christian, if I believe in an omnipotent, omniscient, and all-loving God, then it can only be concluded that God wants me to be the person he has crafted me to be.  That is not to say there are not opportunities for growth, for positive change and development, but those traits which make me who I am were given to me with a purpose.  To alter the core of my being would be an insult to the divine creator. 

I have always possessed a certain…propensity, to quirkiness, to view life from another angle.  I wither and wilt in environments that strongly stress conformity.  I believe that community is achieved (though it may seem paradoxically) through the expression of our individuality.  Conformity, though seemingly building community to some, deprives a community of the necessary diversity of skill and opinion needed to succeed.   It is when we embrace our individual talents, gifts, and natures that we contribute meaningfully to society.  Whether you believe it to be by divine will or by a process of evolution, we are not born into this world in a singular mold.  If homogeny was the desired trait of the universe it stands to reason that we would be born identical to one another. 

I have felt tremendous guilt because I have not strongly pursued a career path to financial success.  I have agonized over feeling like a failure.  I have been trapped in a mental purgatory in which I lack the desire and the will to take the path which would lead to potential financial betterment.  I have watched others walk down that path; they work 60 hours a week for a job which isn’t their passion.  They are exhausted to make time for family and friends; shackled to a world in which the pursuit of material comfort leaves them empty of genuine purpose or sincere happiness.  Those who sacrifice their life for a career they do not feel some passion for are often encouraged to conform to a corporate machine and stripped of the individuality which makes them beautiful.  I would not condemn myself to such a life.  However, due to my educational debts I felt ashamed that I did not pursue that path which would have permitted me to pay off my financial obligations.

But, my spiritual beliefs remind me that I was born with a purpose.  It is no coincidence that I possess the talents, training, passions, and temperament that I possess.  It is unnatural, and a slight to God who has made me what I am, to be that which I am not.  It is not out of selfish pursuit of happiness that I seek ultimately to obtain a career which is suited to my individuality, but, rather, the unselfish desire to utilize my God-given gifts to be the person I was born to be.  By embracing who I am, only then can I live a life fulfilled.  That is not to say I will not take jobs in the interim out of necessity for survival, I shall, but at the end of the day I will be seeking to fulfill my greater purpose and endeavor not to be distracted by promises of financial security or social prestige. 

This is my 2016 resolution, to focus on strengthening and embracing my identity and my purpose in life.  I will no longer be ashamed of being in debt, nor will I feel guilt over the lack of advancement in my career.  I have never once believed that the success of others was measured by their success in the boardroom.  So why, then, should I hold myself to that standard?  I have always believed that successful people are the ones who have cultivated a rich life of friends, family, spirituality, and creativity.  In 2016 I resolve to focus on what really matters and do my best to liberate myself from the guilt which consumed me in 2015.