Episode Forty Six: Pragmatism and Idealism

Living in a recession many of us have watched as dreams have deferred and even died.  We've made sacrifices that were hard, and even if we've had steady jobs- we've known someone who has struggled with unemployment or underemployment.  Today I was turning at a stop light and I saw a woman on the corner with a sign that said "struggling to survive, please help".  It was as though I had heard the voice of all those around us.

In times of economic and environmental trouble we cannot simply cling to idealism.  Being pragmatic is pivotal to survival.  Yet, if we deny every ideal for the sake of survival, what have we lost?  Some ideals help us leave survival mode and progress to getting ahead in life.  Beauty, art, passion, and philosophy can coexist with poverty and strife.  While sometimes we must sacrifice our dreams- there are times we can only truly find them when all other things are at their bleakest.


It takes a small degree of idealism to see the hope and the opportunity in times of trouble.  Life is hard, there is no denying that.  But when you can transform setbacks into opportunities- you become your strongest. 

Just because you cannot see a reason for hope does not mean it isn't there. 

I leave with an interesting little trick, a demonstration of sorts.  Find a clear bic pen, the sort with edges instead of a smooth cylinder.  The best time to do it is during the morning light- stand the pen up on a table, hold it there and try to catch the light.  When you angle it just right the light will shine through the plastic of the pen, fracturing into tiny rays of light on the surface.  Only at a certain angle and with certain lighting can you do it- but when you do it is pretty spiffy.  You can't always see the light shining from the pen, but like hope- when the conditions are just right you can find it. 

Episode Forty Five: Really Makes you Wonder.

Listening to various bands you get a feel for a particular sound or theme adopted by the band.  Awhile ago Maroon 5 was playing on the radio and it dawned on me how many of their songs include lyrics about sex.  Not just sex, but lyrics which in some way or form boast the mad sex skillz (yes, skillz with a z!) of the singer.  So naturally the lyrics "pleasure that made you cry" gave me the mental image of lead singer Adam Levine with an underwhelmed companion.   

It's tragically humorous, but more often than not, we make small lies to protect other people's feelings.  A guy I was dating many years ago gave me a piece of jewelry which was super gaudy, and not at all my taste.  However, I didn't want to hurt his feelings (the item had belonged to his mother- a relic of her divorce) so I wore it.  The real humor began when all my friends said it was lovely, even when I told them I thought it was hideous.  Thankfully, there was a good laugh to be had when the guy and I broke up.  At last all my friends admitted it was a very ugly ring. 

So, to bring it all back to Maroon Five- "It really makes you wonder", as the song goes.  So today's thought is how we can be honest without being tactless.  Small lies may seem good at the time to avoid hurting other people's feelings- but ultimately, it prevents the push we need to improve.  Should you pull a Simon Cowell on someone?  No.  Few people are clever enough to pull that off.  Just maybe practice the delicate art of constructive criticism- otherwise someday your ex may be writing songs about how good he was in bed. 

Episode Forty Four: The Launch

Dear readers,

Forgive the lag between posts.  Between Easter and a new project, there hasn't been much in the way of spare time.  I've been working on the layout of- Accidentally Heroic, the upcoming sister site to the Curve Zone.  Accidentally Heroic is the project mentioned in "Back in the Saddle".   Accidentally Heroic is a blog where I will be posting a story with the working title of Les Feuilles Mortes.  Les Feuilles Mortes is a tender homage to a beautiful poem by French surrealist Jacques Prevert.  The poem is a powerful clue into one of the central themes of the story- but be forewarned that to understand the clue you will need an accurate translation of the poem.  The title of the poem- Feuilles Mortes, literally translates to "Dead Leaves", however, it is often translated as "Autumn Leaves".

So what does a story about Super Heroes have to do with a French poem?  The upcoming story is part contemporary, part comic book, and just a hint of noir.   

Although Les Feuilles Mortes is the working title of the piece- the blog is "Accidentally Heroic" for ease of search.  One of the defining moments of the Curve Zone was when I figured out the name for it.  Curve Zone was serendipitous- it wasn't registered, simple, and could reference a variety of themes.  Accidentally Heroic is much easier to spell and remember than Les Feuilles Mortes (At least here in the US). 

Estimated date of launch: 4/27/2011. 

Episode Forty Three: Passover and Easter

It's that time, Passover and Easter.  There is an overarching theme to be drawn from these two religious holidays.  Passover celebrates when God killed all the first born sons of Egypt, but passed over the houses of the Hebrews which had marked their doors accordingly.  The Jews decided then that Egypt wasn't nearly as glamorous as the brochures for the Luxor had led them to believe and made their exodus- only to have Moses listen to a faulty GPS for 40 years.  Easter celebrates the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, who got stabbed in the back by the worst bro ever, Judas.  The Romans crucified Christ, he was buried, and just like in soap operas- three days later Jesus came back for sweeps week followed by the fabulous pyrotechnics of the Holy Spirit. 

So to sum it up:

-Passover: Egyptians were jerks to the Jews, God killed the first born sons of the Egyptians and spared the Jews.

-Easter: A Jewish man is crucified and comes back from the dead- thus creating one of the largest religious groups, ever.

Moral of the story?  Don't mess with Jewish people.

But seriously, it is a beautiful time to reflect on the miracles around us.  As Winter fades into Spring up here in the Northern Hemisphere we are reminded of the themes of death and rebirth.  Death of Egyptians- Rebirth of the people of Israel as they went toward the promised land.  Death of Jesus- Rebirth of Jesus.  Persephone hangs out with her gloomy husband Hades for the Winter months, then hits the mall for a Girls' day with her mom Demeter in the Spring.  Gandalf the Gray falls into a hideous chasm- Gandalf the White rides back into town with a big ole' middle finger waving at Death.

I actually was just going to toss up this filler art, but you know...

 

Episode Forty Two: Back in the Saddle

*Quick note- for any readers who are not familiar with the phrase, "Back in the Saddle" is a way of saying that one is back at what they are good at, or are making a return to victory.

**I like using asterisks. 

After finishing the first draft of a novel I've had a lot of creative energy building up.  The editing process has been better than I thought- but it doesn't really satisfy the desire to create.  I am working on a side project- a story about super heroes which switches first person point of view between various characters of the cast.  I normally don't like writing in the first person when writing fiction- I'm more of a third person omniscient kind of writer- it's less restrictive.  However, working in first person has given this story a more gritty, human voice. 

Whereas my novel requires heavy editing and polishing in order to work toward formal publication, the side project will be presented in blog format.  This will accomplish a variety of goals- there will be a quicker turn-around time to receive reader feedback from a larger scope.  Before I would only have one or two trusted friends read my novel- leaking it online was too risky- therefore I have avoided posting synopsis and snippets to friends and family via facebook. 

I'm also a huge fan of unconventional publishing- thus, I have a blog.  With the rise of electronic books more authors should be working on making their writing accessible online.  The new project will be posted in a blog- updating regularly- and eventually I will make it available both in a digital download as well as a hard copy for the traditionalists.  Some may argue that people won't buy a book they can read for free online.  However, with a steady readership I can generate revenue from ads.  This will also hook in any possible readership for when I set out to publish my main novel. 

Even when things are free- people will still buy things if they like them enough.  Even though we can watch most movies whenever we want on Netflix- my fiance will still purchase the DVD of a movie if he really likes it.  I can read Jane Eyre for free anytime- it's both public domain and at the local library- but I own a copy because sometimes a girl needs to curl up with Charlotte Bronte and a cup of coffee. 

Nothing about this project is revolutionary- but it is keeping up with the flexibility writers have now.  I'm pretty excited, and I look forward to unveiling this project soon. 

Episode Forty One: The Disney Survival Guide

You open your eyes and everything is suddenly charming.  People break into song periodically and without reason.  The laws of physics have relaxed, and although you are sober- you could have sworn a dog just talked.  Remain calm, unfortunately you are not in the Twilight Zone- everything is far too bright and chipper.  You have entered, the Disney Zone.

We live in an age where there is a Zombie Survival Guide, but what do you do if you find yourself sucked into the Mouse's Dimension?  We've got some tips to keep you safe, to keep you happy, and to avoid awkward scuffles.

Princess/Prince

You will fall into this category if you're generally the most attractive of your friends and are always dreaming big.  The more impractical you are in our world, the more fortunate you will be in the Disney Universe.  If you find yourself in this universe you will essentially be immortal.  However, avoid suspicious old ladies, people with eyebrows that peak sharply (Jafar, Scar, Ursula, Frollo), and anybody with a really excessive laugh.  If you have a Step Parent get away from them as quick as possible. 

There are no errors in judgment in the Disney Universe.  If you love some handsome stranger it will all work out in the end- don't worry.  Even if characters which died in the original stories often had a happily ever after in the Disney Version. 

Most importantly, if someone you love is critically injured and on the verge of death- CRY.  Crying has magical healing powers and also summons Fairy Godmothers.  Chop some onions until everything resolves itself.  Kisses also break 90% of all curses.   

Woodland Creature

  If you are a dog, cat, raccoon, velociraptor, squirrel, etc- you fall into this category.  Also- thank you for being part of a very narrow non-human demographic of reader!  Thanks to Disney magic you can now talk.  However your good advice will often, if not always, be ignored by a persistent hero/heroine.  How to survive: suck up to the sweet and naive- avoid the temptation to join forces with any cunning villains.

Villain

You will fall into this category if you put your career above romance, if you sometimes hurt others in your ambition, or if you're unattractive but not humorous and/or stupid enough to qualify as "comic relief".

Acrophobia, or the fear of heights, is your new best friend.  When you stop and realize the sheer number of villains that died by falling off of a cliff (or struck down by other forces while on a cliff or other ledge)- Maleficent, The Queen from Snow White, Scar, Frollo, Hun Leader from Mulan, Cruella DeVil- the bottom line is just avoid high places.   Also, your uncontrolled egotism will always, always be your downfall (well, that or a cliff).  Learn to be ok with modest victories.  You don't have to be the fairest of them all- I mean, albino is soo last season.  No matter how smart you are and no matter how dumb your adversary- this universe works against you.  Keep your vices in check and try to catch the next train to Detroit. 

This post receives the "Who'd a Thunk?" seal of approval

Episode Forty: Suitable for Children

One of the shows I loved to watch as a kid was Animaniacs- it was quirky and didn't dumb things down.  One of the many segments that had me laughing up a storm was "Good Idea, Bad Idea" 





Based on that concept I got the idea to do a segment "Suitable for Children, Note Suitable for Children."

"Existentialism for Children" Always causes more tears than Toy Story 3, and that's a lot.

 

 

Mortality- who can forget the first time we realized Mufasa and Bambi's mom were dead?  Yet children more often than not are harbingers of unexpected wisdom.  I've always found it a bit tragic- the way we quest for answers when we are young but lose that thirst when we grow older.  Like the roots of a flower going deeper into the soil to find water, you can often see children digging for answers.  Somewhere along the way we get the impression that we know things- and we stop actively searching for new knowledge.  Maybe we're just overwhelmed and exhausted- there is too much to learn.  Or maybe, just maybe, we haven't embraced the spirit of humility in order to open our minds to new truths yet to be discovered. 

Episode Thirty Nine: Expectations

I believe thoroughly that my expectations of service should be based upon the level of money spent on the purchase.  I hate being behind that guy at McDonald's who is berating the staff because his hamburger wasn't super fresh.  I you pay three bucks for a burger- keep your expectations low.  I've always felt there is an unwritten mathematical formula showing the relationship between the money you spend (or intend to spend) and the service/quality received.

It's probably something like:

y + z + q = 3x + 1t + 5i


y = Level of Service

z = Speed of Service

q= Quality

x= Money spent

t= time of interaction

i= Importance of service received (i.e. auto repairs versus buying a sweater)

So what are the unspoken guidelines?  Well, for anyone who has taken an economics class, each individual has their own price points and expectations.  But here at the Curve Zone we decided to give you a guide:

1. Free- Quit yer whining, you get what you pay for pansy.  

2. $.01- $1.00- The object or service in question should not kill you, cause you violent illness or other bodily harm.

3. $1.01-$10- The staff takes your money, gets things done in a semi-reasonable speed, and does not openly insult you.

4. $10+- You are served in a timely fashion and at the end of your purchase, someone thanks you in a generic fashion 

5. $40 +- They smile at you when they thank you.  If you have a question about the product or service it is answered. 

6. $100+- If something goes wrong with your product or service someone helps you.  Service is swift and friendly. 

7. $150+- Things should work.  Delivery should be on the time promised. 

8. $200+- If given your name, they should address you by it.  Even if they cannot meet every request- they should listen to what you would like and do what they can. 

9. $500+ - Your money is very nice, your money you should be treated with respect. 

10. $1,000 + - No matter what you actually look like, when you spend over a thousand dollars, you are automatically good looking to the staff. 

11. $5,000 + - You get a Tiara if you want one, dammit. 

12. $10,000 + - Your eccentricities should be embraced as though they were the norm

13. $50,000 + - A "B-list" Celebrity should be thrown in for good measure.  Anyone currently having a show in Branson counts. 

14. $100,000 + - Bow before me puny mortals

15. $1,000,000 + - It should include a live performance by Rick Astley. 

16. $1,000,000,000 + - Chuck Norris should personally deliver the service or good.

17. $1,000,000,000,000 + - "Excuse me Miss, could you Gift Wrap this Australia?" 

P.S. I've always wanted a Shiny new Australia. 

Episode Thirty Eight: Know Thy Customer

This actually happened to my fiance and I when we were looking for apartments.  Apparently tanning booths are one of the amenities some apartment complexes are now offering.  I did feel bad, the girl showing us the complex was really friendly and enthusiastic but I had to make a silly comment when she started pushing the tanning as a benefit.  I looked back to my pinoy-American fiance and said "Now you can get all the tanning you want honey!"

Humor aside, it is a problem when sales pitches aren't amended when a certain feature clearly has no appeal to the customer.  Sales is difficult- you can't always know if people will like an on site laundry facility- or if they're more interested in free internet (I know, blasphemy right?  Free net should always triumph!)  However, it is important to listen and pick up on the big details.

I have seen many "great" sales people who have become over confident in their pitch- they honestly believe they can sell their product or service to anyone.  Not only does this antiquated notion of sales lead to sleazy salespeople- it is also inefficient.  Since graduating I've interviewed with various marketing firms- the majority of which were only a few months older than my degree.  Many of these firms believed in the flashy sales pitch with an almost religious zeal- each touting to have the best method.  At the end of the day they operated from an inefficient direct sales approach with a poorly guided customer base- in lay man's terms, they approached strangers to buy their products  In contrast, I have also interviewed with established firms.  The firms which had decades of history and led the way in their industries were better organized.  They tailored their products to the customers and focused on Businesses instead of individuals.  The end result?  They have the shiny nice office buildings, the recognition of peers, and won't be filing for bankruptcy a year from now.

The moral of the story: President Obama probably doesn't want any coupons for free tanning.

 

Episode Thirty Seven: Bridal Madness

Here at the Curve Zone we generally try to keep it PG.  Our intent is not to scar our readership for life, so we ask that if you are weak of stomach, have a fragile psyche, or- most importantly, have an irrational fear of supermodels... please do not continue reading this post.  Within today's discussion are photos from real advertisements- photos which may haunt your dreams.  When we say Supermodels some may think "Yay!  Supermodels",

Yay Pretty! (Source Allure Bridal, this is an example of a gorgeous model, a gorgeous dress, and a great photo layout)

but something went wrong in these ads... something went terribly wrong.

You've been warned.

Being the only girl of four kids there was no doubt when my fiance popped the question that we would have a full fledged wedding.  Planning a wedding has definitely channeled my love of challenge.  However, Bridal Land can be a scary place.  Wedding dresses are the only garments I have ever seen that stand upright when you take them off.  There are plenty of beautiful dresses out there, plenty of gorgeous models, and several talented photographers.  Yet, even professional grade photographs posted on the official sites and dealers of major Bridal Gown designers... there are some photographs that perplex, confuse, and frighten.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS BRIDAL MADNESS!

I opened with the pretty photograph from Allure Bridal to illustrate that there are some excellent shots out there.  I'd say about 97% of the pictures feature healthy models and skilled shots.  Here are the other 3% in order of increasing horror.

Source: David's Bridal, Vera Wang Collection

Vera Wang is a designer with a reputation powerful enough to start a cult amongst fashion enthusiasts.  However, this photo has a glaring mistake which diminishes its power as an advertisement.  Have you caught it?  The pose and angle make it impossible to see the skirt and any details on it.  I honestly don't know what this dress looks like, is it pretty?

The model seems like she is a very lovely young lady, but aside from a less than stellar coif, her expression lacks enthusiasm in most of the photos she appears in.

Do I -have- to get Married? (Source: David's Bridal Vera Wang Collection)

The pose is an improvement, you can see the exquisite cut of the skirt.  Yet, there is something unintentionally humorous about the model's overflowing excitement.  Yes, she wants to spend her life with her groom- the love of her life.  Yay Monotony Matrimony!  Upside: they can reuse  the photo for an advertisement for Snickers. "Wedding got you drained? Grab a Snickers!" 

Let's try a different website, a different designer, maybe we can have better luck.  

Source: Allure Bridal Website

Um... ok.  Well then... uh... That pose looks kind of uncomfortable... Maybe she was trying a dance move from the 1970s?  I'm sure it's just that photo, I'm sure that model has a better pose in her other photos.

Source: Allure Bridal Website

OH GOD DEAR GOD NOOOOOOOOO!  IT HAS MANIFESTED FROM THE REALM OF MY NIGHTMARES AND SEEKS TO EAT MY FACE.  RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

Episode Thirty Six: Letting People In

Forgive the absence of posts over the last week- between some spring cleaning and the unexpected passing of my cousin, there's been a lot to do and think about.  

I had been debating between writing something comical or writing something of substance.  The end result was to try to brave being more honest and open for an entry.  Blogging has been much more challenging than I anticipated in that blogs are online for anyone to see- and yet, to write our best we must look deep within ourselves.  

The art of writing is searching for answers and braving your heart upon the page.  You may write about fictional characters, but to breathe life into your characters you must draw from those around you.  It may not be the intent to borrow from life- but a friend's smile, an enemy's humorless joke, it influences your story.  To earnestly reach your reader and draw them into the world in your words you must touch a part of their heart, mind, or soul.  Such exposure has been easy for me working on a novel- I can contain my audience until the book is ready for publication.  My blog, in contrast, is the equivalent of having all my secrets pour out for the world- and often unfriendly eyes.

It takes courage to truly be yourself, and to stand by the things which you believe in.  We live in an age where everyone is always talking about their lives, their thoughts, hell, even their breakfast, and yet, so seldom do we really allow ourselves to truly come into view with the world.  Part of our caution is common sense.  Everyone, and I do mean everyone, sees Facebook.  As best we may try with privacy settings, our statuses, notes, and pictures can be viewed by the wrong eyes.  Sometimes a little discretion is a good thing- but at times we live in a state of paranoia about vocalizing our true feelings.  Politics is a prime example.  There are people who will post their every political opinion very loudly online- but there are several friends and family members who will shy away from disagreeing openly about a topic in which they have a dissenting opinion.  We can tell our friends that we had fruit loops for breakfast, but we cannot show them our pensive side.  

Letting people in is not a matter of how many friends you have, the number of text messages or calls you place, or how often you meet up with others at the bar.  To love is to sacrifice, but also to maintain healthy boundaries.  It takes wisdom to know when to give and when to take- when to stand your ground and when to bend.  It is hard showing people who you really are, but as much as being rejected for who you are hurts- it is always worth it when you find those who love you for who you are.  You can be well liked wearing a mask, but at the end of the day people are in love with the charade, not with who you really are.  

  I have a very hard time letting people in.  I like to act silly and play the role of the jester.  I have always been fascinated by Polonius from Hamlet.  Many people think of Polonius as a dolt, and let's face it, the man does get stabbed through a curtain.  However, he said some of the most famous lines from the Bard, "Neither a borrower or a lender be" and "to thine own self be true".  The wise-fool has always been my inspiration.  I have also found that many people mistake levity for ignorance, when being silly and being intelligent are hardly mutually exclusive.  Intelligence without wisdom is a gift lost.  I act silly so I need not waste time with people who are so sure of their superior intellect that they don't know how to laugh.  Unfortunately, it's hard letting go of the silliness at times once I've filtered out the people I don't want to deal with.  

I've dedicated my life to studying people, to trying to help those around me, to listening and to being supportive.  If I could have one super power, all joking aside, it would be the power to heal others.  I have a deep desire to bring happiness and relief to those around me.  Yet, in the last few years I've built up some walls within- shutting people out.  I ran into some people who seemed consumed by greed and selfishness, and it shook much of my faith in humanity.  I've known a lot of amazing people in my life, but it broke my heart to see that there are still those ruled by vanity.  It's hard finding the strength to let people into your life when you're afraid of disappointment.  Yet, I realized that if I kept on building walls then no progress could be made.  

There are those who point out that one person cannot change the world.  While no one person can erase all the selfishness and hatred in the world, we all have the power to make a difference, even a tiny one.  I realized I couldn't become a puppet to my own disillusionment, but rather find the emotional endurance to let people back in.  If I can touch one single life and help another person in my lifetime, then truly that is the most amazing accomplishment I can do.

(And if me being serious made you uncomfortable, a comic on the topic of politics)

Sometimes the Left and the Right are United by Common Experiences. 

Episode Thirty Five:Our Robot Overlords Part III

Today is the anticlimactic dramatic conclusion of our series on the Robot Apocalypse.  Killing Robots was the subject of part II, and part one explored the bureaucratic nightmare that would ensue in a world run by machines. So how shall we finish off this series?  We've been a little facetious in part 1 and a little fatalistic in part 2, so it seems only fitting that we be somewhat realistic/serious in part three.

The Robot Apocalypse: The Complacency of Mankind

Like junkies we're hopelessly addicted to our gadgets.  I'm not pointing any fingers, because I myself feel the compulsion to check my email about three times a day.   Machines are undoubtedly convenient, entertaining, and positively helpful.  Automation has already resulted in the elimination of countless jobs whether for better or worse.   While I do believe the stance that computers and machines are turning us into zombies is a bit exaggerated, there is undoubtedly a psychological and physiological impact from relying heavily on machines.

One could argue that human kind was meant to work, to create, and to dream.  Consider the fact that when you are working out and being physically active your body releases endorphins.  Feeling lethargic, in contrast, isn't a synonym for feeling good.  Doing things "the hard way" doesn't seem intuitive.  Why not do things in the most efficient way possible? However, efficiency does not always equate the best way of doing things.  Confused?

Doing things in an inefficient manner may seem counter-intuitive, but there are circumstances in which the inefficient method has merits. For example, if I drive to the store four blocks from my apartment the travel time is only a minute or so- versus the ten minutes it takes to walk from my apartment to the store.  While walking does take longer- there is a slight reduction in gas usage for the week as well as invaluable exercise.  Factory-made goods are cheaper and generally have a more reliable consistency- but there is still a market for handmade goods.  Perhaps this is because when we hand-make goods we can control aspects of the quality which we cannot in mass production.  For example- it is quick and easy to make microwavable popcorn- but when I can I prefer to pop my own in a pot because I can adjust the ingredients and the amount popped. 

I heard some criticism when the movie Walle came out- but it doesn't hurt to reflect on the message of the movie.  Human kind has become blobs, laying around while the machines do all the work.  I'm not saying we will all wind morbidly obese, floating around on hover chairs, constantly stuffing our faces and staring at a screen all day... but obesity is high, we stare at screens all day, and food is still quite delicious.  I, for one, saw Walle and thought "this makes way too much sense...".  

The robot apocalypse may in fact be far more boring than we envisioned.  It's not that we're rooting for a marching hoard of heartless machines to go about blowing things up- but one would like to hope that the demise of humankind would be more epic in nature- more moving and action packed.  We're suckers for the Michael Bay.   In contrast, the idea of humankind becoming slaves to nothing more than our own complacency is rather anti-climatic and disappointing at best.  However, our dependence on our cars, our computers, our microwaves, our tvs, our everything is far more common place than getting attacked by the dishwasher. 

The upside of this lackluster dystopian tale?  Part three is the easiest robot apocalypse to combat on a personal level.  We may not all be Sarah Connor or Neo- but we have the ability to do things ourselves, to think, to create, to work.  Should we banish machines?  The answer is no.  Just understand that before there was an "auto" option- life had given us "manual".  Cheers.