Episode Eleven: My Eternal Lack of Tact

To anyone who may be reviewing the time stamp on my blog and knows my work schedule, this is my lunch break and I'm on my own computer (in order to complete one of my reports I have to bring in my own lap top because our work computers are too slow- an hour long report can take up to three hours on the work computers). 

So this evening I found myself on the phone with my father.  While on the phone I decided to brave a topic of conversation previously neglected.  As mentioned in the first post (The Conspiracy, read it if you haven't already)- I am engaged.  On the phone I decided that while no date has been set maybe it was time to tell dad I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle...

Bit of an inside joke- but I needed to make an image we could all use.

Dad was upset, which I was anticipating, but I had not anticipated how bad it would be.  I had explained to him that I wanted my mom to walk me down the aisle.  My parents are divorced and I was raised solely by my mom since then.  I tried to stress to my dad that it was no slight against him, but that Mom had sacrificed so much for me, always been there, that it only seemed right for her to be the one to walk me down the aisle when I get married.  Plan backfired.  Dad, naturally hurt, and got defensive.  Unfortunately for Dad it is completely one sided on the parent front. Both parents had the same opportunity, but it was Mom who always made the sacrifices and the efforts to look after my brothers and I. 

Sometimes I guess there is no way to be tactful.  I speculate whether telling Dad sooner than later was for the better or not.  Truth be told though, the symbolic giving away of the bride can be construed as a sexist tradition or something more valuable.  On one hand it could be viewed as the woman being treated like property- Father to Husband.  On the other hand it may symbolize how our parents won't be with us forever and therefore if we choose to get married it is their time to "give us away"- handing over the responsibility and trusting in the spouse to take the lead.  Sure, in a perfect world I suppose that would entail the groom being given away as well, but the point is that while tradition does state the father of the bride gives her away, it makes the most sense for the person (aside from the groom) who has given the bride the most love and support to give her away.