Episode Thirty: Advice to the Menfolk

Dear Readers-


This one is dedicated to our male readers- however women are invited to read along.  Dear Men, it has come to my attention that some of you do not understand the proper protocol when faced with enticing females... or maybe just females.  I see this from time to time when I am shopping at the grocery store or dropping into a taco bell.  However, the worst I had ever experienced this phenomenon was this past year at Visioncon- a convention for gamers/geeks hosted in Southern Missouri.  THE LEERING.  Leering, in case you did not know...

Leer* 

–verb (used without object)

1.to look with a sideways or oblique glance, especially suggestive of lascivious interest or sly and malicious intention: I can't concentrate with you leering at me.

–noun

2.a lascivious or sly look.

 

(Definition borrowed from Dictionary.com, a wonderful resource)  

 

Now I know what you're thinking- this is a "Southwest Missouri" thing, which to our international readers is a somewhat rural region whose locals are often mocked by people up north.   You're also thinking, well it's a convention.  You are imagining things such as...

 

Well of course, this is Darth Maul, fellows on the dark side of the force don't waste time with things such as manners.  Sith Lords can LEER all they want.  However, I am happy to say this is from a past con, and no, Darth Maul never leered at me (From what I could tell- thankfully).  

The curiosity of the situation was I was the most modestly dressed I had ever been at con this past year, and this past year the leering problem was the worst it had ever been. 

What really baffled me was that amid a convention where one girl had dressed as Slave Leia, there were several belly dancers, etc, somehow myself, showing no cleavage and wearing a knee length skirt, was gawked at.  I was dressed in ordinary clothes, nothing unusual about my hair or makeup, but somehow men kept staring unblinkingly at me.  There were half-naked women running about- and somehow fully clothed I was leered at.  

This is where the advice comes in.  DON'T STARE.  Even if a woman isn't looking directly at you, she will still notice if you deliberately follow her with your head as she walks across the room.  It's one of those instincts we've developed as a species in order to survive- we tend to pick up in the corner of our eye when something/someone is watching us.  While you may feel content to drink up the sight of her female-ness with your eyes- when you see a woman it's best to avoid leering or staring at her.  

There are bad men in the world- the kind that drive white, windowless vans and carry chloroform around.  Women are taught at a very young age to keep away from creepy men.  If you stare at us too long, you will be considered creepy even if you're the nicest guy on earth.  You may think that you don't have a chance of striking a conversation up with a woman, but in truth even the most plain looking man has a chance if he learns not to be a creeper.  Instead of leering suspiciously at a passing female as though she can't see- glance, but keep your eyes moving to other things in your surroundings, and try blinking.  Try greeting the woman, even if you don't know her, it's ok to talk.  Talking is what people do when they're being polite to one another.  Polite men say "hello" and "how are you".  Serial killers watch a woman's every movement, never approaching until she's alone in a dark parking lot fumbling for the keys to her car.   

In Summary, it's not just rude to deliberately stare at a person, it also may give the false impression that you have a chloroform rag and a dimly-lit basement.