Warpaint

Normally, when I get up in the morning, with a deep contempt for the mere thought of awaking at 5 AM, my morning "beauty" ritual consists of washing my face, taming my coif from "medusa" to "don't give a f-ck" and slap on pants of some variety which (sort of) match with blouse of some variety.  If I can find a pair of argyle trouser socks to garishly pair with pinstripe slacks, then that is pure gravy on my "I lost the will to give a s--t about these things" motif.  As a person, I waiver from bouts of mental androgyny to random outbursts of crying during romantic period pieces.*  As such, I am not always the best versed in the ways of beauty.  I grew up with three brothers, and, I assure you, none gave a s--t about lipstick.


However, the fact of the matter is, as a woman in my thirties desperately seeking a long overdue change of job title and transcendence into a coveted middle-office job, it's sometimes a necessity for me to cover up my natural flaws in order to look professional.  Most days, it's all about my natural face.  And, if I could, I would wear blue jeans to work every day.  After all, my end goal is a quest to an obscure cubicle somewhere where I can build a nest and hiss at passersby.  Yet, when entering the war zone which is the dreaded 2-4 hour long meeting, you cannot enter unarmed.

When I was younger, there was always this sense that women wore makeup simply to look pretty.    And, in truth, in the days when a woman's livelihood was contingent on some male breadwinner to find her "doable", the end goal was to look pretty, because prettiness was considered the only weapon we had at our disposal.

Leap back to the present, I realize that several of my feminist friends, and several of my strongest female friends, are avid aficionados of make up.  Whereas my uncultured ass thinks Revlon is fancy makeup, they are seasoned veterans of the aisles of Sephora and Ulta.  They could contour 40 lbs off of a face and replicate van Gogh's Sunflowers on their pinkie finger using four shades of nail polish.  Having known these women, I had to examine what it is about makeup and fashion that calls to most women--what makes it one of the classic attributes of femininity?

It is not simply "looking pretty."  Our desire to alter our appearances isn't rooted solely in vanity.  If that was the case, we would find one look that is very flattering and simply dress that way for the rest of our lives.  But that's not how it works.  Rather, we crave the ability to exercise control over our physical environment, and our own lives.

As a gender who, in most societies, was given a subservient position, we had to seize control in the small ways we could.  So we decorated our homes, we cultivated gardens with plants for pure aesthetic value, and we painted our faces.  We discovered that through attire and makeup we could step into a new role for the day--manipulate perception of our persona.  A smokey eye and a sleek black dress with pumps exudes an air of sensual power.  Pastels, flowing fabrics, and minimal makeup presents us as innocent, nurturing even.  A woman is given the power to adjust her identity with each aesthetic choice she makes, playing upon common archetypes to evoke a new persona.

It was then I came to see makeup for what it really is, a form of war paint.  It is not a necessity, but it is a signal we wear to others, conveying the persona we want them to encounter that day.  And it is not mere falsehood, for the very nature of humanity is the seasons and the malleability of our moods.  Some days we are the nurturer, others, the destroyer.  Makeup is one of many clues we impart upon the audience of the world to convey which way the tide has turned on a particular day.

An Open Letter to a Hero

Dear Music Philanthropist,

There are many heroes in this world who tirelessly sacrifice themselves to help others: nurses, firefighters, and paramedics.  But you, dear Music Philanthropist, go beyond the call of duty to bring free beats to all the blocks you drive past.  One would think you do it for the swarms of women who (undoubtedly) throw themselves at the hood of your car, hypnotized with lust from the siren song of your unparalleled bass.  Yet, tragically, your would-be harem is permanently deafened upon approaching within five feet of your noble vehicle.  Therefore, yours must be a lonely life.  Your selfless gift of free music is often misunderstood, and seldom praised, but I am here today to thank you for all that you do.

Your contribution of 140 decibel music to all those you drive past is an immeasurable treasure to the entire community.  I live one block over from a senior living community, and I can tell you that for some of the residents who are hard of hearing, the music you deliver from your car is the first music they have heard in decades.  Your bold beats have awakened the comatose patients at the hospital you drove past yesterday.  You awaken us from our slumber, as though calling us to get up and seize the fullness of life once again!  What joy and merriment you bring with your wonderfully sub-par music selection and the painful percussion which is heard with delightful nausea.

Yet, I realize that your gift to us does not come without a price.  Subwoofers are quite pricey, and adorning your valiant Chevy Cobalt with a spoiler is not cheap.  You have clearly sacrificed much of your parents’ hard earned money into your vehicle’s sound system.  Worst of all, in order to play your music at a volume at which all residents in the tri-county area can enjoy, you have had to sacrifice your own hearing.  Perhaps that is the greatest tragedy of all; that you can no longer hear the very music with which you have so thoughtfully shared with the entire community.

Therefore, I salute you, dear Music Philanthropist, for the free music you have so bravely blasted for all to hear.  You may not be appreciated by all, or understood by many, but there will come a day that cities will raise statues in your honor.

Sincerely,

A Grateful Neighbor

2016 Resolution

I believe I am who I am for a reason.  As a Christian, if I believe in an omnipotent, omniscient, and all-loving God, then it can only be concluded that God wants me to be the person he has crafted me to be.  That is not to say there are not opportunities for growth, for positive change and development, but those traits which make me who I am were given to me with a purpose.  To alter the core of my being would be an insult to the divine creator. 

I have always possessed a certain…propensity, to quirkiness, to view life from another angle.  I wither and wilt in environments that strongly stress conformity.  I believe that community is achieved (though it may seem paradoxically) through the expression of our individuality.  Conformity, though seemingly building community to some, deprives a community of the necessary diversity of skill and opinion needed to succeed.   It is when we embrace our individual talents, gifts, and natures that we contribute meaningfully to society.  Whether you believe it to be by divine will or by a process of evolution, we are not born into this world in a singular mold.  If homogeny was the desired trait of the universe it stands to reason that we would be born identical to one another. 

I have felt tremendous guilt because I have not strongly pursued a career path to financial success.  I have agonized over feeling like a failure.  I have been trapped in a mental purgatory in which I lack the desire and the will to take the path which would lead to potential financial betterment.  I have watched others walk down that path; they work 60 hours a week for a job which isn’t their passion.  They are exhausted to make time for family and friends; shackled to a world in which the pursuit of material comfort leaves them empty of genuine purpose or sincere happiness.  Those who sacrifice their life for a career they do not feel some passion for are often encouraged to conform to a corporate machine and stripped of the individuality which makes them beautiful.  I would not condemn myself to such a life.  However, due to my educational debts I felt ashamed that I did not pursue that path which would have permitted me to pay off my financial obligations.

But, my spiritual beliefs remind me that I was born with a purpose.  It is no coincidence that I possess the talents, training, passions, and temperament that I possess.  It is unnatural, and a slight to God who has made me what I am, to be that which I am not.  It is not out of selfish pursuit of happiness that I seek ultimately to obtain a career which is suited to my individuality, but, rather, the unselfish desire to utilize my God-given gifts to be the person I was born to be.  By embracing who I am, only then can I live a life fulfilled.  That is not to say I will not take jobs in the interim out of necessity for survival, I shall, but at the end of the day I will be seeking to fulfill my greater purpose and endeavor not to be distracted by promises of financial security or social prestige. 

This is my 2016 resolution, to focus on strengthening and embracing my identity and my purpose in life.  I will no longer be ashamed of being in debt, nor will I feel guilt over the lack of advancement in my career.  I have never once believed that the success of others was measured by their success in the boardroom.  So why, then, should I hold myself to that standard?  I have always believed that successful people are the ones who have cultivated a rich life of friends, family, spirituality, and creativity.  In 2016 I resolve to focus on what really matters and do my best to liberate myself from the guilt which consumed me in 2015. 

Episode Sixty Three: (Un)Justifiable Cruelty

Like many people of Russian descent, I suffer from the occasional temper.  Today I had a brush with my own dark side.  At work I lost my temper on a biller who had been making mistakes in her billing files.  After I calmed down, I wrote an email apologizing, and then I spoke to the liaison for the biller’s company.  I felt better after speaking to the liaison, who agreed with my concern, but as I hung up the phone I realized just how easy it is to transform into a monster.

The monstrous thing is not that I lost my temper.  While losing my temper is hardly a good thing, the real frightening thing is how we as a society justify being rude, mean, or downright cruel to others.  Yelling at the biller accomplished nothing, and it certainly made her job all the more stressful.  The liaison helped remedy the situation, but in the end left me with a small feeling of vindication.  The problem is, it’s irrelevant whether we’re correct or incorrect; being “right” does not give us Carte Blanche to hurt other peoples’ feelings.

We live in a winning-obsessed culture.  Not only do we love being right and hate being wrong, but we believe that if we are factually correct that means we are in the right.  The internet has always been the playground where our argumentative nature comes out to play.  Facebook, in particular, has dragged out the worst in many of us.  I use Facebook as the example because unlike debating politics on a forum where your opponent is a stranger, on Facebook people debate politics with their friends, family, coworkers, and classmates. 

We get so caught up in proving our message that we forget the subtext and the impact on our relationship with others.  Unfortunately an argument may prove a point while being demeaning to others.  You may “win” an argument while successfully belittling someone you otherwise love and care about.  In this phenomenon our opinions become more important to us than people.  It’s not to say that our ideology lacks merit, or isn’t standing for the right thing, but our presentation of our ideology is harmful and disrespectful to others.

Differences of ideology are nothing new, but when we are not standing face to face with the people we break down with debate we forget their humanity.  We cannot always prevent others from taking offense.  Even words without an intent to harm can still be hurtful, but we must have the wisdom to recognize when we are in the wrong even if our facts or our ideology is correct.  Tone matters, as does the method by which we deliver our message.  We must have the courage to admit when we are in the wrong.  When we feel vindicated at hurting the feelings of someone around us because we were “right” then we become monsters.  We like to believe that evil is found in large actions, but frequently it is the small ways in which we try to justify cruelty that we create evil in the world. 

Episode Sixty Two: The Feministic Implications of Frozen

In many ways Frozen was to the new generation what The Little Mermaid was to my generation.  Frozen has beautiful Disney music, singing, obsessed fans, and enough merchandising to put all the accountants at Disney into a blissful slumber for 100 years.  I have heard quite a bit of back and forth from those who consider Frozen to be a win for feminism and those who consider it to be a step back.  One particular article stood out to me, the critique by actress and neuroscientist, Mayim Bialik.  Dr. Bialik raised many good points, but I feel there’s one aspect she didn’t consider.  Raising a counterpoint to Dr. Bialik feels a little presumptuous on my part; it’s as though I’m a chimp trying to refute someone’s doctoral thesis.  However, regardless of the content of the film itself, it is the reception of Frozen in young audiences that proved a win for feminism. 

The film presented us two royal sisters, Anna and Elsa.  While both sisters are important to the plot and have ample screen time, there was a clear favorite among fans young and old.  Elsa stole the show.  Anna was clearly intended to be the main protagonist.  However, if costumes, merchandising, and fan-frenzy have taught us anything, it’s that everyone loves Elsa.

                

What’s the difference between the two sisters?  Both were born princesses.  Both were beautiful.  All the general prerequisites of Disney Princesses were met.  The difference? The younger sister got a boyfriend at the end of the movie.  The older sister got a Kingdom, bitchin’ magic powers, and a friggin’ ice castle (ok, and the best song in the movie).  The reception of Frozen proved that for little girls everywhere, a handsome male companion was nothing compared to having magical (and political) power. An entire generation of young girls have clearly shown that girls want bitchin’ magic powers, not just some guy with a nice sleigh (sorry Kristoff). 

                

Women with magical powers are not new to Disney, but that role has been limited to villains, matriarchs, and brief plot devices.  Stop and review women with innate magic in prior Disney films.  There’s the villains: Maleficent, Ursula, and the Evil Queen.  Then there’s the matriarchs: the Fairy Godmother, Flora/Fauna/Merryweather, and the witch lady from Brave.  Outside of that, magic associated with Disney Princesses was in the form of a plot device rather than a skill (i.e. Magic Hair, Enchantresses fed up with snotty princes on Airbnb, Blue Fairies, Faustian pacts, etc.). 

When Frozen introduced Elsa, it introduced a young Disney woman with serious magical ability fashioned through her own willpower and creativity.  Elsa doesn’t simply perspire chilly air or serendipitously cry healing tears; she can construct elaborate and beautiful structures with her ability.  She transforms not from Princess to Queen, but from a woman whose innate talent acted upon her into a woman who wields her power with proficiency and grace.  She is no longer the victim of her circumstances or her environment, but rather the master of her own fate.  This concept differentiates Elsa and many of the contemporary Disney women from their predecessors.

While a work should be judged on its content, and not its reception, I feel the reception of Frozen proved insightful into the future of feminism.  Fiction is transformative in nature, but sometimes that transformation is not the one intended by the creator.  The absolute love affair with Elsa reflects our enthusiasm as a society with women coming into strength and power.  A generation of girls are wanting more than a rescue courtesy of a romantic partner.  A generation of girls are looking up to a, albeit fictional, woman in power.  One day the little girls running around in Elsa costumes at Halloween will be old enough to read about the real women in positions of power who have shaped history.  And, if we nurture these girls, they will grow up and change the world. 

Episode Sixty One: An Unusual Metaphor that Explains the Rift Between Atheists and Christians

So once again the old wounds between the "logical" atheists and the "spiritual" Christians were ripped open by the break through discoveries with the long sought-after "God Particle".  I've never understood how evidence supporting the theories of evolution and the big bang disproves the existence of god- (though it does interfere with a literal interpretation of biblical timeline).  As a Christian and someone who does take quite a shine to logic I've never seen why we must consider science and Christianity mutually exclusive. 

I like to think of it as lego blocks and the kid playing with the lego blocks.  Some factions of atheists believe that the existence of the building blocks of the universe disproves the existence of God--- sort of like saying because there are lego blocks building a lego house therefore there is not a child who constructed the house.  Some factions of Christianity seem to take the same argument, in a different direction- they try hard to disprove things such as evolution for the same reason.  Because there is a kid playing with toys- and the kid made the house.  The house of legos was generated solely from the mind of the child- and no blocks were used in the process. 

I'm not saying Christians and Atheists are wrong- but rather, there seems to be a fallacy in the philosophy of the extremists.  They say God made man in his image- and it is a known fact human kind was able to differentiate from other animals because of our use of tools.  Therefore, it is not unreasonable that God fashioned the universe itself in an elegant way- in a way that provided a framework and foundation to work from.  God made tools to aid him in the creation of the universe.  You can build a toy house out of many materials- but nothing works quite as easy or brings as much joy as snapping together a couple of legos.

Episode Sixty: Harry Potter- Kind of Like Batman meets Jane Eyre

So I was treated to a midnight showing of the Harry Potter Deathly Hallows part two.  After I graduated last summer I finally had time to sit down and read the series.  While the six hour wait wasn't particularly fun, there were some definite perks going on opening night in the US.  For example, a girl dressed up as Bellatrix offering people cupcakes shaped like cauldrons- too adorable.  It was fun hearing everyone laugh and cry at all the same scenes.  Yet, a few months ago I found myself realizing another British orphan who pre-dates Harry, and a few weeks ago my fiance and I realized the famous near-sighted wizard has a lot in common with another fictional icon- Batman.

Batman, Jane Eyre, and Harry Potter, perhaps three of the world's best fictitious orphans.  Now some may argue- why am I roping Jane into the  mix.  I happened to be re-reading the first chapters of Jane Eyre when I realized how much Jane's experience living with the Reeds set the stage for Harry's life with the Dursleys.  Jane and Harry both live in the heart of misery.  They both lost their parents as infants and live with an insufferable Aunt who hates them for just being them.  They're both considered odd by their overly conventional relatives, and both have a male cousin that bullies them.  They're second class citizens and then early in their story they're shipped off to boarding school.  The similarities generally end there- Hogwarts is made of awesome and Lowood, well, you'd be better off in most prisons than Lowood.

However the real parallel comes down to Harry and Batman.  Their stories continually pull back to the same hook- their parents were murdered and they want justice for their parents.  Both have inherited a pretty sum of money- you take your pick whether you prefer a vault of gold at Grignotts or stock in Wayne Enterprises.  And let's face it, the more you think of the parallels to Harry and Bruce Wayne, the more it all sort of clicks.  Ron, unfortunately for him, is a lot like Robin.  There's also the wise mentor in Alfred the Butler and Dumbledore. 

The reason I say Harry is like Jane Eyre meets Batman is because, Harry has all of Batman's angst but ultimately finds his peace.  Now I'm sure a comic book aficionado would have some case to argue that Batman eventually finds happiness- but generally Bruce Wayne is the ultimate loner.  Sure, he has girlfriends (briefly), various young boys as Robin (does he recruit from a van with candy?), and of course, his Butler/Confidante.  None the less, the theme of Harry Potter is that Harry ultimately finds his strength from those around him.  It always comes back to Harry and his friends Ron and Hermione, to his relationships with his mentors (Sirius, Albus, Remus, Hagrid), and he does have his peace despite being hunted by a sociopath-wizard for 17ish years.  In that respect Harry pulls a Jane Eyre.  Jane Eyre has had a horrible life full of loneliness and adversity- but in the end she has a family, friends, and a husband who is her mental equal. 

Episode Fifty Nine: The Business to Get In?

The other day I ran into a woman at work who was ranting because Blockbuster did not have "Meet Me in Saint Louis" (And no, I don't work at Blockbuster or any other video rental place).  Then she asked me what place in the area would have that video available to rent that night.  I told her most of the video stores went under, and I was relatively new to town- so I did not know of a place.  I said she could check Redbox, but mostly Redbox carries new releases, but she could look on Netflix to see if it was on instant queue.  She continued to ask me again if there were any stores in the area and launched onto a rant about video stores. She ended the rant with "Video Rental, that's the business to get in"- and she didn't mean that angrily or facetiously, she was serious.

I realize it's frustrating when you can't find something you're looking for.  However, I believe this instance, while really more of my average Monday at work, explains multiple problems I have with our current culture.


1. We are obsessed with Self-Gratification: if we cannot get what we want when we want it, we feel wronged instead of recognizing the situation for what it is- a moderate inconvenience.

2. We think that if we keep asking the same person the same question that "I don't know" will eventually turn into a magical answer that solves our problems

3. We hate change and will tout the superiority of a more costly and poorly organized institution because we aren't ready to try something new. 

4. We have delusions that if something falls into our personal whimsy that it must surely be profitable.

And number 4 takes us home.  It goes without saying why you can't find video rental stores anymore.  Instant streaming is genius, it takes out the cost of a traditional store (staff, building leases, insurance for the store, tangible inventory) and puts in a convenient system to watch movies and television from home.  There is a reason movie rental places went out of business.  However, I suppose if you want to take your life savings and use them to fund such an ill conceived business venture, go for it- it is your money. Myself, I think I'll keep an open mind and peruse the selections on Netflix instant queue, my fiance and I have found some unexpected new favorites that way. 

Episode Fifty Eight: Christianity, I'm taking it Back.

(*Taking it back is an expression used to sometimes describe the act of reclaiming a fashion, or, for the purpose of this post, a religion)

As an active Christian I hate to admit it, but more often than not, I am embarrassed by how Christians are represented to the rest of world.  It's not just that certain people waving the banner of Christianity are depicting Christians as anti-science, irrational, and anti-progress, but more importantly that our faith is being represented as hateful and judgmental.  The problem is worse than that- the modern Christian is so consumed by politics and hot button issues that the questions of day to day living are ignored.  This is not to say that Christian shouldn't be debating the major issues- but we are forgetting to address the challenges in our daily lives. 

As someone under the age of thirty I'm distressed at the low church attendance by people in my age group.  While one could argue my generation is going to hell, I prefer to question how my generation perceives Christianity.  I've made it a point to have friends of various faiths.  I've had some Christian friends argue that this is a massive faux-pas.  However, Jesus didn't spend the majority of his time with rabbis- he befriended tax collectors and prostitutes.  This is not an excuse for any misguided Christians to start preaching at the local strip club.  Sorry.  The point is, after talking to non-Christians the majority of complaints have nothing to do with a dislike of Jesus or the core virtues of Christianity. More often than not, non-Christians dislike hypocrisy and intolerance displayed by certain Christians.

Let's face it, the crusades, the Salem witch trials, the Spanish inquisition- we do have a lot of less-than-admirable moments in our history as a major branch of religion.  We're not taking the beam out of our eye before mentioning the speck in our brother's eye, as the bible tells us to do.  Christ, it is often said, is love.  Why then are so many Christians insisting on being champions of hate?  We've forgotten how important the virtues of forgiveness and charity are. 

The problem, however, is not Christianity.  "Do onto others as you would have done onto you" is hardly the philosophy of intolerance.  There are also plenty of Christians out there in the world who still love, and who are progressive and intelligent.  There are plenty of Christians out there who are friends with agnostics, pagans, Buddhists, Muslims, and yes, even atheists.  Our task is to take back Christianity as the religion of love and forgiveness.  We must begin to live our lives by example.  Let's drive a little friendlier on the road Christians.  Let your charity not be limited to people of the same denomination or church.  Non-Christians learn about the love of Christ through our actions. 

As the title of this post implies, it's time to take back Christianity.  Let's reclaim it and make it our own again. 

Episode Fifty Seven: The One thing I truly Loathe.

Now I try to keep the Curve Zone clean of hatred and ill will.  I don't want this to be some shrine of ranting or complaining.  It's easy to blog angry- too easy.  Blogging angry seldom achieves anything.  However, I'm tired and won't be posting anything relevant for at least 12 hours.  So it's time for me to admit a long-standing hatred I have.   There is only one thing in the universe I truly hate.

Blood suckers.

Alright, and before I get ripped limb by limb by Twihards, I'm not talking about your disco-ball teen-romances.  Vampires have, if nothing else, given us an amusing array of fiction as well as spread hilariously awful paranoia regarding the red cross.

I'm talking about Mosquitoes, those little, parasitic sons of [censored].  It's actually been a better summer for me this year, but I am always the person they bite the most and my skin breaks out worse than most people.  However, I know they're out there, and like a gritty old hero of a western movie I sit in vigilance for the day I can end their menace to my world. 

Mosquitoes think they can just fly into our country and take our blood and not pay taxes.  I say no more.  Armed with my narrow minded intolerance and my fly swatter I'll be waiting this summer Mosquitoes. 
 

Episode Fifty Six: We're Back and Crafty!

So after the bus broke down 30 miles outside of Denver and I sat tensely for fear that the irate passengers may disembowel our driver, well, I had a renewed passion for writing.  That was my trip to Oregon for my brother's graduation.  And if you're wondering, I did not fail to copy/paste the whole story.  Eventually I will write a post chronicling the horror that was my first bus trip across the United States.  Until then you have the information you need to know readers.

Instead of leading off with the soul searching I did over the past week- I will take the humorous route to revive the Curve Zone. 

When I heard about Newt Gingrinch getting "glittered" by a protester a couple of weeks ago I was inspired.  I try not to get into politics in the Curve Zone.  However, I couldn't help but think that Political Pundits would be made better through arts and crafts.  So I unveil to you, poor readers, Pundits and Crafts.

 

First- Bill O'Reilly.  O'Reilly's staring gaze is part of his drive as a media personality, so I thought "hmm, he needs Googly eyes!". 

Next, Hillary Clinton, whom I decided needed the fun and jazz of craft feathers and a gold star upon her cheek.  The brightly colored craft feathers add a touch of color and whimsy to the former first lady.

While we're on the topic of women in Politics, I decided to give Ann Coulter yarn hair.  Coulter's straight blond hair drains the color away from her face, it is uninspired.  Thanks to the rainbow of colors offered in craft yarn we were able to give Coulter a new, friendly look. 

The last craft project I decided to keep a reference pic on bottom.  Hate his movies or love them, you have to admit there is something familiar about the way Michael Moore looks.  Using felt swatches and craft hair we are able to construct, you guessed it, a Michael Moore Muppet.  If you don't know what a Muppet is, well, look up Kermit the frog on Wikipedia. 

I entreat you to try your own Pundits and Crafts :)

Episode Fifty Five: Question and Answer Session- Feedback Needed

Howdy!

To help promote the sister blog "Accidentally Heroic" and help reboot the "Curve Zone" I would like to do a broadcast Q and A (Question and Answer) session.  I'm going to try to borrow my fiance's laptop which has a webcam.  If you have any questions for the Curve Zone or Accidentally Heroic please post them in the comment section.  If your question is deemed appropriate, I'll answer it via video.  While there's nothing scarier than the sight of my face- it will haunt your dreams forever (you've been warned), I thought this would be a great chance to reach out to the readers.

Much Love,

-'Cutio-

Episode Fifty Four: A Generation of Humor

Forgive the absence from both Accidentally Heroic and Curve Zone- aside from an advertising issue I've been a little under the weather.  And by a little under the weather I mean I've been so sick I've been losing more weight than I did when I had food poisoning a few months back.  So- if there is not a speedy recovery eventually "The Curve Zone" will become the "Straight and Narrow".  Best weight loss plan ever.

And yes, I am being melodramatic- though I have been sick and too fogged up on fevers to write much. 

I'd been mulling something over for quite some time now.  At first I considered it a personal issue- often expressing myself through humor instead of sitting down and talking about things seriously.  Then I realized that many people in my age demographic do the same thing.  We don't like to talk about the hard issues unless we're buffering our conversation with jokes or facetious statements. 

I see the generation gap at work constantly.  Many people think that people in the Gen Y category don't care because we hide behind the shield of "LOL".  We may seem oblivious- tethered to our iPods, showing a lack of enthusiasm for voting, etc.  The truth is beneath our cavalier demeanor is a wealth of pain and acute awareness of the myriad of problems plaguing our country and planet. 

We grew up on "Captain Planet" the guy who pumped us full of concern about the environment.  We might have even cried a bit watching "Fern Gully" as kids- just a bit.  Not long after we could drive did Gas prices start going up- but Hybrids, not exactly in our budget.  As soon as the ink was dry on our college degrees, the economy was in the toilet.  As hard as it is being downsized after 20 years of loyal service, at least you experienced 20 years having a job you could feel proud of.  Many in our generation have excelled at school, worked hard at low level jobs- and never once had a taste of a real career.  Doors slam in our face.  I see more job postings for 5-10 years experience on Career Builder.  If you're under the age of 30- chances are you don't have 5-10 years in position higher than Stock Boy or Waitress. 

We watched our parents get laid off, we watched the twin towers crumble, we listened to news of the Enron scandal, just like you, we were there witnessing the chaos of the world around us.  We were not blind and deaf as you may have thought us to be.  But we were young, and our hearts were crushed before we were old enough to purchase alcohol.   

Every generation adapts its own style, its own signature.  Our generation is the one that laughs when we want to cry.  At times our humor is indeed inappropriate- but it is how we cope with the darkness we perceive around us.  Humor is how you get us to open up about the things we care about.  Through the sounds of our laughter you can almost hear the faint whimpers of our cries- our cries for justice, cries for change, and cries for hope. 

Humor is our adaptation to the challenges of our environment.  

Episode Fifty Three: The Sanctuary in My Home

When my fiance and I started apartment hunting we originally thought of getting a two bedroom.  Amid other features that had us fall in love with our current apartment, there was the den.  Our apartment is labeled a "one bedroom with den", in which we pay a lower rent but have a mythical space tucked away at the front of the apartment.  There isn't a door- but it doesn't matter, the moment you enter the den you are submersed into the loving arms of tranquility.

Unfortunately it wasn't until our den started flooding due to the excessive rain that we remembered it was there.  It had become, the storage room.  The flooding was a blessing in disguise- we have a benevolent landlord who fixes everything quick and never gives us grief.  So they sent in the carpet cleaners and we had to haul all the storage tubs and boxes out of the den.  Fresh carpet later, I stepped into the room to remember the vast potential of the haven before me.

Due to the death of the laptop I moved my desktop into the living room.  I am seriously considering if I can pick up any free or cheap furniture on Craig's list for the den.  I yearn to transform the wondrous space before me into a sanctuary.


I'd love your feedback on what you would do with your own sanctuary and if you have a place in your home where you can relax and escape.

Have I mentioned my love of tropical beaches?

Episode Fifty Two: Taking Risks

Howdy Curve Zone readers near and far.  Today I wanted to share an anecdote about the Odyssey in which I started taking risks.  For the first twenty-ish years of my life I had tried to do everything perfect.  I got amazing grades in school, I never got into any sort of trouble, and I pursued the career goals that I felt others expected of me.  I was working on a Masters in Counseling, working a crappy job in a mandatory union, etc.  One night I met up with my friend Jared to hit up Denny's- I had late classes and shifts at work, so being out at 2 am was my norm.  We got pulled over by a police officer who proceeded to harass us.  I should note there are plenty of amazing police officers out there who are good people who work hard without thanks.  However, there I was, a model citizen getting harassed like a common criminal by this figure of authority.

Then I thought "Screw it."

It was weird, but something just sort of snapped that night.  I decided then that living my life the way that made other people happy was getting me no-where.  It took a few months to get the courage, but I left the masters program I was in- ignoring great grades and the money wasted.  The next thing I knew I was moving to a strange town where I didn't have a support network, a job, or a clue to enroll in a new graduate program.  I met the love of my life, some amazing friends, and got my Masters.

By far it was the worst financial decision I ever made- there are plenty of people who would argue that it was a bad decision on that basis alone.  Sometimes we have to leap though, sometimes we need to take a chance.  There are bumps and bruises along the way- but making a mistake doesn't have to be the end of the world.  We, as in humanity, are consumed by the concept of making the "right" decisions.

I've always loved the song "Get Here" by Oleta Adams (Youtube it if you don't know it).  Lyrically it's very simple, I mean she's just listing modes of transport for three minutes, but the way she sings it with so much conviction and passion makes the song.  The message of the song is relevant.  It's not how we get there- it's that we get there.  Sometimes I wish I had more money- but then I remember all the blessings I have that other people do not. 

Episode Fifty One: Goodnight Sweet Prints

It has been a year of loss from my friend, my aunt, my cousin, and my fiance's grandmother.  Now it is time to mourn the loss of machine as well.  I stand here to declare the time of death on my laptop- handed down to me by my fiance.  After six years a pinched wire in the screen has caused the visual display to become unpredictable at best. 

Updates of the Curve Zone and Accidentally Heroic may be slightly, but not greatly delayed.

While it was a computer, not a printer, I dare to say "Goodnight sweet prints"

Episode Fifty: 50th Episode Spectacular- How to Deal with Exes

In honor of our 50th episode we have a crudely drawn Hamster with a Cupcake on his back. 

Today's topic doesn't relate to the 50th post (sorry!), but it was one that came to mind.  Today's topic is everyone's favorite subject, exes!

Now I haven't run into any of my exes recently (thankfully) and the ones I have seen/talked to in the past year have all been gentlemen with whom I was on good terms.  However, I realized when my mom was talking about how she dreaded going to her school reunion because she'd run into my dad, I realized most people do have at least one ex they'd like to avoid. 


How to Handle Exes:

How to handle your ex is centered around what sort of relationship you want to have with that person.  Do you want to be a part of this person's life or would you rather they lived on Pluto?  It is possible for exes to be friends, but it's also natural to not want to associate with your exes. 

Unfriendly Exes

Don't want to associate with your ex?  Sometimes you have to because you have children together, work together, or due to mutual friends and other loved ones.  If you dislike your ex and don't have to interact with them- then don't.  It's as simple as that.  You don't need to follow them on facebook, twitter, My Space why would you even have a My Space? a digital purge is the best first step.

Here are some tips:

1. "But what if they're talking bad about me?"  The Answer: So what?  It is a disappointing fact of life that someone, somewhere, sometime will speak ill of you.  People who love you, the ones who matter, won't pay heed.  The only time it is a problem is if children are involved- at which time you're better off speaking to a professional rather than confronting your ex. 

2. "I want to avoid them, but what about the wedding/funeral of a mutual friend or when we're dropping off/picking up the kids?"  The Answer: Be professional and aloof.  If you don't like someone, ex, coworker, client, etc- your best bet is to be professional.  Keep your interaction to the business at hand.  Don't be snide, mean, or nasty- just be neutral.  You don't have to be nice, just don't be confrontational. 

3. "What if I see them with another person?"  The Answer: If you really don't like this person let it be someone else's problem.  Don't set out to "save" the next person.  If it bothers you, well, you may have unresolved feelings, but your best bet is to be courteous.  If you hate that your ex has moved on and you haven't don't worry- your time will come. 

Friendly Exes:

I can't really do this topic justice in one post, so I will keep to the basics.  I do recommend reading "He's Just Not that Into You" if you are struggling with this topic.  As harsh as the title may sound it is actually filled with many positive points, many affirmations of worth.  Some of the advice is simplistic- but it has a sturdy foundation. 

If you're still in love with your ex it boils down to two outcomes: you get back together or you do not get back together.  If you truly had that one in a million, cannot be replaced, absolutely meant to be together love, then eventually you will find your way back to one another.  Sometimes people just need time to grow on their own.  Most often it isn't meant to be.  The good news is the remedy for both situations is the same: space and time.  Either you need time to grow or you need time to realize that your ex wasn't really the right one. 

In the Meantime here's what you do:

1.  Be nice, be very nice, but never break boundaries.  Your goal is to be desirable but ever-unobtainable.  Be sweet, funny, and all the wonderful things about you they fell in love with.  But, never, ever give your ex more than friendship. Don't sleep with them, don't kiss them, don't date them- just be the Aphrodite or Adonis that you are, ever out of arm's reach.  Don't be the one yearning away- be the one yearned for. 

2. Learn to Let Go: If you truly love the other person then you must accept that the next man/woman may be better for them than you.  This is an ego blow, but don't let it get to you.  If your ex would put someone ahead of you they're not worth it.  You deserve someone who would never settle for anyone but you.  Let your ex and their new love interest go.  If the new fling is bad for your ex, they will eventually figure it out.  Let them make their own mistakes.  If the new fling is good for your ex, you don't want to be the sort of person who breaks two people up. 

3. Find You.  Even in a healthy, happy relationship it is easy to lose sight of who you are.  You may simply lack the time to do certain things you loved to do.  Rediscover your self- your hobbies, your sense of adventure, your personality.  The happier you are with yourself the easier it will be to handle your ex. 

4. When you're ready, move on. 

But please, be cautious of internet dating...

Episode Forty Nine: Hats and Writer's Frock

Hats:

There has been some interest in the number of hats featured in the royal wedding.

To that I say:

I admit, sometimes it's just fun to see where a pencil takes you.

As for the rest of my post- I wanted to give a shout out to someone who (unlike me) can actually draw.

Webcomic with fun portals.

Now let's hope she'll start updating now that I've pointed some readers in her direction :)

Writer's Frock:

I'm not going to call it Writer's Block, because that is not what is happening to me.  I shall dub it "Writers Frock".  I apologize I haven't had a nice, strong post in the Curve Zone recently.  I've been struggling with picking a topic to write about.  I call it Writer's Frock because it is a bit like trying to pick out an ensemble to wear on a date.  You rummage through the closet and can't find anything that is quite what you're looking for.  There are things you could wear, yes, but nothing leads to the goal you desire.  Writer's Frock is when you sit down at the keyboard, start writing, and keep erasing what you write.  Nothing really seems to come out the way you want or make the impact you need to make.  Your words seemed outdated, overused, or plain.

Metaphor, the unceasing cure for Writer's Frock :)

This one is what happens when I start splicing photographs together in MS Paint.

Episode Forty Eight: Next time, read the news- then blog.

The last post was written before reading the news.  So, in lieu of Part Two, which I would have made a joke about the President being a Bond-style Super Villain, I have crudely drawn art.

 

People are pretty charged about the news that Osama Bin Laden is dead- understandably so.  If the story is true, well I hope we will create a new national holiday and give it a snazzy name like "Revenge Day", however my fiance insists if a holiday is made it will have a very corny name.  So I'm thinking something lame like "Patriot Day", "Justice Day", or the completely vague "American Day". 

p.s. I may start sketching things in the notebook and scanning them in as such.  The crudeness of the lines and spiral binding is a pretty nifty effect.

Episode Forty Seven: The Blame Game (Part 1)

Today's post is broken into two parts on account of me needing enough time to set forth with a pencil, a sharpee, and MS Paint to make some decent art. 

Trolling is quite entertaining, but now and then- people are serious.  One of the most interesting phenomena I have seen has been the "blame Obama" tactic. Actually, before Obama, President Bush was also getting blamed for many things.  Regardless of your political leanings, some of the things blamed on the President are so out there, they are humorous. 


As a result I decided to come up with  some of my own "Blame Obama" statements:

1. Obama is the reason fried food makes you fat
2. Obama stole the sock you're now missing
3. Obama made Mount Vesuvius erupt and destroy Pompeii
4. Obama was behind the Watergate Scandal
5. Obama is the reason Justin Bieber is a star.
6. Obama is the reason the Dinosaurs are Gone
7. Obama is the reason Popcorn costs $10 at the Movie Theater
8. Obama is the reason your wife left you. 
9. Obama assassinated President Lincoln. 
10. Obama made Ugg Boots a fashion statement. 
11. Obama killed Dumbledore
12. Obama gave you spoilers to the Sixth Sense
13. Obama is why low-fat yogurt tastes so bad
14. Obama is the reason Batman's parents are dead
15. Obama invented My Space
16. Obama is the reason Bieber sounds like a Girl
17. Obama killed Mr. Body in the Library with the Candlestick
18. Obama is the reason Hipsters drink PBR ("ironically") 
19. Obama is the reason Lifetime Movies are Sub par
20. Obama cast Topher Grace as Venom

So the next time you find your favorite discussion thread has been overrun by political bickering- derail the tension by blaming the destruction of Planet Krypton on Obama.